I appreciate this so much. This past week, I've been feeling deeply uncomfortable in my body—while I'm nowhere near the level of body hatred I experienced as a teen, I keep wishing I could just exist as a non-physical form. (Like a ghost, I guess? Happy Halloween.) I'm not lithe or coordinated or speedy or graceful either, so I compare myself to others a lot, thinking if only I were slim like [insert friend here] or short like [insert other friend here] maybe I'd be more comfortable with myself. But I know that's not true. We all have our own things.
Anyway, thanks for helping me feel far less alone in this. I like my tenacity, too, and also the fact that I'm lucky enough to be able to move my body as I please at all. I'm going to try to focus on that. :)
Oh I absolutely also often wish I could exist as a cloud of bluish vapor. But other times I realize it’s really pretty exhilarating to have a body. I guess everything is a mixed bag, and that’s ok… I just want us to not always focus on the arbitrary things other people push us towards. Like, there are so many ways to be strong. Or interesting. Or clever. And we’re all always sad about the ones we DON’T have.
YES to celebrating tenacity! and what you wrote about 'Plants never feel bad about their inability to cartwheel' was really meaningful (I myself am unable to do a cartwheel AND to jump but my legs are hella strong and took me so many places! )
I think we have somehow all been conditioned to focus on what we’re missing and be sad about that, and seldom
to focus on what we’re naturally good at and celebrate ourselves. Part of it is the world wanting us to feel inadequate so it can sell us ‘solutions’, part of it is being parented to always think in terms of room for improvement and never give an attitude of excessive pride or self-satisfaction…. But I think being pleased with what you CAN do, pushing to see if you can do more, and being open to judging yourself by different criteria than the regularly accepted ones is an amazing thing…
I will never forget the day my kid and I went out to do an errand and ended up doing another thing on the way… Lu said ‘wow mom!! We did TWO things today!’ I immediately countered with ‘well, two things is not THAT many things.’ To which he replied, completely undeterred - ‘hey, for people like US, two things is a lot!!’
I think of it often. For people like us, two things IS a lot.
Awww that's such a precious comment and an even more precious feeling!! :) I appreciate your insight on the world's agenda being a sales pitch. I often fall for it like a cooked pear (ancient Italian saying)
As a sea lion and neurodivergent, I support this message
Always a pleasure to meet a fellow marine mammal!!
I appreciate this so much. This past week, I've been feeling deeply uncomfortable in my body—while I'm nowhere near the level of body hatred I experienced as a teen, I keep wishing I could just exist as a non-physical form. (Like a ghost, I guess? Happy Halloween.) I'm not lithe or coordinated or speedy or graceful either, so I compare myself to others a lot, thinking if only I were slim like [insert friend here] or short like [insert other friend here] maybe I'd be more comfortable with myself. But I know that's not true. We all have our own things.
Anyway, thanks for helping me feel far less alone in this. I like my tenacity, too, and also the fact that I'm lucky enough to be able to move my body as I please at all. I'm going to try to focus on that. :)
Oh I absolutely also often wish I could exist as a cloud of bluish vapor. But other times I realize it’s really pretty exhilarating to have a body. I guess everything is a mixed bag, and that’s ok… I just want us to not always focus on the arbitrary things other people push us towards. Like, there are so many ways to be strong. Or interesting. Or clever. And we’re all always sad about the ones we DON’T have.
Ah I loved this!!
I’m so glad it’s hitting the mark!!
i can’t tell you how much i loved this and needed it today
I can’t tell you how glad I am that you have stumbled upon it and shared that with me ⭐️
YES to celebrating tenacity! and what you wrote about 'Plants never feel bad about their inability to cartwheel' was really meaningful (I myself am unable to do a cartwheel AND to jump but my legs are hella strong and took me so many places! )
I think we have somehow all been conditioned to focus on what we’re missing and be sad about that, and seldom
to focus on what we’re naturally good at and celebrate ourselves. Part of it is the world wanting us to feel inadequate so it can sell us ‘solutions’, part of it is being parented to always think in terms of room for improvement and never give an attitude of excessive pride or self-satisfaction…. But I think being pleased with what you CAN do, pushing to see if you can do more, and being open to judging yourself by different criteria than the regularly accepted ones is an amazing thing…
I will never forget the day my kid and I went out to do an errand and ended up doing another thing on the way… Lu said ‘wow mom!! We did TWO things today!’ I immediately countered with ‘well, two things is not THAT many things.’ To which he replied, completely undeterred - ‘hey, for people like US, two things is a lot!!’
I think of it often. For people like us, two things IS a lot.
Awww that's such a precious comment and an even more precious feeling!! :) I appreciate your insight on the world's agenda being a sales pitch. I often fall for it like a cooked pear (ancient Italian saying)
Oh I think we all do. But less so if we have other people to talk things out with maybe.